“I want to live a life that is filled with joy and happiness” – I am sure for many of us, this is one of the top goals we want to reach in life. But why does it seem so hard for so many people to reach this goal? Is there anything we can do to improve our happiness? And what even has an impact on the level of our happiness?
It is hard to define “happiness” because it can vary from person to person, but generally speaking “Happiness is an emotional state characterized by feelings of joy, satisfaction, contentment, and fulfillment.” (Cherry, 2022, ll.6f.). Additionally, this emotional state often involves positive emotions and life satisfaction.
A longitudinal research study – The “Harvard Study of Adult Development” – was designed to “reveal clues to leading healthy and happy lives.” (Mineo, 2017, ll. 5f.). They started in 1938 by following 268 Harvard sophomores throughout their lives. The data they collected consisted of all kinds of health information and interviews with questions about their lives and their mental and emotional well-being. Over time, the study group was expanded a couple of times, since in 2021 only 19 out of the 268 original participants were still alive (Mineo, 2017, ll. 12f.).
The key finding of this study was, that good and close relationships keep us happiest and healthiest – even more than money or fame (Mineo, 2017, ll. 33f.). This finding might seem a little surprising because we often tend to prioritize our work and success over our relationships. Even if you would go around and ask a bunch of strangers what they think would make them happier right now, I am sure most of them would think about money or fame before they would think about the relationships in their lives.
This study also revealed how important it is for us to make sure our day-to-day life includes activities, etc. that we enjoy doing. Even though it might seem obvious at first, I think once you start getting a little busier, this is something we easily tend to forget about (Solan, 2017, ll. 22-27).
One thing that has also been scientifically proven is that about 50% of our level of happiness is based on our genes, meaning that some people are happier simply because they are genetically predisposed to be so (Solan, 2017, ll. 6f.).
This however does not mean we do not have any influence on our level of happiness, since there is still 50% left to our control.
So, while there might not be one universal solution to living a life filled with happiness, one important component of a such lifestyle are good and close relationships. It does not really matter how many friends, etc. you have as long as those relationships are meaningful and close. They should add joy to your life, rather than cause you more stuff to stress about.
And if you have been stuck in a toxic friendship or relationship you have been dreading to let go of, this is your sign to finally take this step and distance yourself from that person, because staying around those people really is not worth it.
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